PAR

Child Victims of Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse

What is Child Sexual Abuse?

Child sexual abuse occurs when a child is tricked, forced, coerced, or manipulated into sexual contact for the purpose of gratifying the abuser.  Child sexual abuse can involve a wide range of sexual activity.  Child sexual abuse can include fondling of the child's genitals, masturbation, oral sex, vaginal or anal penetration by a penis, finger, or any other object, fondling of breasts, voyeurism, or exhibitionism.  It can also include exposing a child to pornography or using the child for the purposes of pornography or prostitution. 

Abuse occurs when a person uses their authority, either by force or not, to get a child to participate in activities that are for the adult’s or older person’s sexual gratification.  Children always have less power than adults.  It is NEVER a child's fault.

What to do if you suspect that your child has been sexually assaulted.

Please remember to remain calm for your child’s benefit.  In a reassuring tone, find out as much information as you can about the incident(s).  If the assault has happened in the last 72 hours, immediately report the crime to the police.  By reporting the crime it does not necessarily mean that you will be pressing charges.  By reporting the sexual assault your child and your family can receive immediate assistance, safety, and medical services needed.  The child will be transported to MUSC to have an exam completed. 

If the assault happened after 72 hours you can contact your local physician, Lowcountry Children’s Center (LCC), or Dorchester Children’s Center (DCC) for the forensic medical exam. 

You will receive a PAR advocate whether you are seen at MUSC or LCC or DCC. They are there for support and advocacy. 

Signs of Child Sexual Abuse:

·         Sudden reluctance to go someplace or be with someone

·         inappropriate displays of affection

·         sexual acting out

·         sudden use and awareness of sexual terms or new names for body parts

·         uncomfortableness or rejection of typical family affection

·         sleep problems, including: thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, infantile behaviors or other signs of dependency

·         extreme clinginess or other signs of fearfulness

·         a sudden change in personality

·         problems in school

·         unwilling to participate in or change clothing for gym class at school

·         runs away from home

·         bizarre or unusual sophistication pertaining to sexual behavior or knowledge, including sexual acting out

·         reports sexual assault by parent or guardian

·         aversion to a relative, neighbor, or babysitter

·         change in eating patterns

·         sudden lack of interest or achievement in school

·         sudden desire for privacy or marked separation from family activities

·         signs of increased anxiety or immature behavior

·         irritation of the genital areas

·         age inappropriate knowledge or interest in sexual matters

·         running away or self destructive behavior

(Note that these signs are not necessarily evidence of child sexual abuse, and must be considered in conjunction with other factors.)

Effects of Child Sexual Abuse

Nearly all victims will experience feelings of confusion, shame, guilt, anger, self-blame, embarrassment, and fear.  Child sexual abuse can result in long-term relationship problems and be perpetuated from generation to generation.  A male who is sexually abused as a child is more likely to sexually abuse others if there has been no intervention.  A female victim who receives no intervention is more likely to be re-victimized.

Reaction of Parents

When their child is violated, parents may feel violated too.  They experience feelings similar to those of their child: self-blame, anger at self and abuser, guilt, embarrassment, and fear.  They tend to want to overprotect their child to ensure the child’s safety; however, the child may view this as a punishment or lack of trust.  When parents have also been victims of sexual abuse, it may be difficult for them to separate feelings regarding their experience of abuse and that of the child.  These parents may need to receive help to deal with their own abuse experience.

How to Talk to a Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused

Remember a child may not have the vocabulary to talk about the sexual abuse.  The child often does not tell anyone about the abuse due to fear of not being believed.  In some cases, the victim has not been told not to tell, threatened with harm, or told he or she will get into trouble if the secret is told. It is important that parents stay calm and have their feelings under control when they talk to their child.  The effect sexual abuse has on a child depends in part upon the parents’ reaction.  If parents become overly upset and angry, a child may think that she or he is bad or has done something wrong.  When parents react in a concerned, caring, supportive, and loving manner, the child feels more free to express feelings about what happened.

Tips for Talking:

·         Believe the child. Rarely do children lie about sexual abuse.  You may be the only one the child thinks can give help.

·         Try to remain calm.  This may be difficult, but shock or anger may only cause the child to withdraw.

·         Praise the child for telling.   Reassure the child that he or she has done the right thing and is safe with you.

·         Listen to the child.  Take the child to a private place and let the child tell you what happened in his or her own words.  Give the child your full attention.

·         Respect the child’s privacy.  Be careful not to discuss the incidents in front of people who do not need to know what happened.

·         Get help, be responsible.  Report the incident, arrange a medical check-up and seek counseling.

·         Don’t blame to child.  Sexual abuse is never the child’s fault.

Prevention Tips for Parents:

·         Keep the lines of Communication open.  Talk to you children on a daily basis.

·         Know where your children are at all times. Familiarize yourself with their daily activities as well as their friends and friend’s families.

·         Be careful about baby sitters and any other care providers.

·         Begin teaching your children at a very young age about things they can do to help keep them safe.  Make sure to use a non-threatening approach that equips children with confidence and empowerment, not fear.  Let them know that their body belongs to them.